Do you ever wish someone would turn your required reading into a big-budget summer blockbuster? This July Fourth weekend, feeling slightly traitorous to your classical roots, you could sit in an air-conditioned theater, feed your children popcorn for dinner, and watch A Patriot’s History of the United States in a manageable two-hour block.
Chapter four would last approximately three minutes. It would explain the entirety of the Constitutional Convention through witty repartee between Thomas Jefferson (Matt Damon) and Alexander Hamilton (Ben Affleck) over small government. The scene would round out with a biting, humorous speech from Benjamin Franklin (Jack Nicholson) rejecting the need for presidents to have a salary. A soaring score by Danny Elfman would play in the background during the final scene of the film.